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Coronado Playhouse Announces Auditions for its Production of:


A Play by Kara Emily Kratz

Directed by Kian Kline Chilton

Show synopsis:

Charlotte and Eugene live a quiet, no-nonsense lifestyle surrounded by sudoku and argyle. Robert and Bella are boisterous and messy and ridiculously in love. Then there’s the neighbor, Suzanne, who basically doesn’t know what’s going on, but definitely has something to say about it. Hold on to your seats, you’re in for a delightfully surprising tale about connections. Sure, relationships can be exciting! But, they can also be confusing, unexpected and full of risk. They are almost always worth exploring; and if we’re willing to be vulnerable, they can fill the vacant spaces in our hearts. And if they don’t work? Well, you can always get a dog. All Bark, No Bite is a romantic comedy about relationships, and is built upon a clever conceit that is skillfully revealed in the opening minutes. This witty bite holds the audience for the rest of the show in this sweet and heartfelt play. This comedic farce has legs. Lots of them.

Audition and show information:

Rehearsals will begin on December 4th. The rehearsal schedule will be provided in advance of the first rehearsal based on performer availability.

The production runs January 12th – February 4th, with performances Thursday – Saturday at 8pm and Saturday and Sunday at 2pm. No conflicts with performance dates will be permitted.

All performers are guaranteed a $100 honorarium to cover the costs of transportation for rehearsals plus a $15 honorarium per performance. Note that this is strictly a non-union production.

Auditions will be held on Sunday November 26th and Monday November 27th from 6-10pm. Please prepare 1-3 minutes of comedic material. This can be a monologue, your favorite joke, a story, even you performing as a dog. The creative team would like to see your comfortability with being funny. Additionally, please be ready to discuss the play and why it excites you.

To be considered, please submit this form: The audition form collects your personal information — including any known conflicts with the rehearsal dates. Only the director and members of the creative team will have access to your submission materials. WHILE AUDITIONING IN PERSON IS PREFERRED, YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO SUBMIT AN AUDITION VIDEO IF YOU ARE NOT AVAILABLE TO ATTEND AUDITIONS.

Callbacks will be held on Tuesday November 28th from 6-10pm. Auditions and callbacks will be held at the Coronado Playhouse 1835 Strand Way, Coronado, CA 92118

If you have any questions not answered in this announcement, you may email

Character breakdown:

Coronado Playhouse is committed to inclusivity, and encourages ALL members of our community to submit, particularly members of communities who have historically been excluded or underrepresented — including but not limited to artists of color, Native American and Indigenous artists, women, non-binary and gender non-conforming artists, LGBTQ+ artists, and artists with disabilities.

CASTING NOTES: Only adults over the age of 18 will be considered.

Charlotte Female 20-45 (of child-bearing age). Kind, hard-working, intellectual. She has a gentle, patient nature with a particular and nervous tendencies.

Eugene Male 20s-90s (canine, unspecified breed). Superior, intelligent, particular, sarcastic with a dry wit.

Robert Male 20-55. A tolerably good guy, he enjoys his life and has an enduringly upbeat attitude. He’s in love with Charlotte, as well as his new rescue dog, Bella

Bella Female 18-40 (canine, maltese). Happy, loves attention, and could charm the lolli off a pop.

Suzanne Female-identifying 30-80. Charlotte’s neighbor: nosy, a bit abrasive, and in the midst of emotional/physical transition; cares greatly for Charlotte. Borderline alcoholic. Not a dog lover.

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1835 Strand Way, Coronado CA 92118-3005


Phone: (619) 435-4856

Fax: ‭(619) 435-2866‬

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